You keep choosing each other. Even lately.
Right now that’s hard to hear over the argument you had again last night, and the one before that.
Somewhere back there the route changed, and neither of you signed off on it.
The jobs got bigger, the kids got older, and now you’re arguing about the dishwasher at ten at night when you both know it was never about the dishwasher.
You fight because you care, and because you love.
The arguing is the sound of two people still trying to reach each other.
What both of you want out of it hasn’t changed since the beginning: to be understood, and to be loved without having to ask for it first.
You want to be safe with the person who already knows your worst, and you want to be sure you never have to face any of it by yourself.
Who am I to tell you how your relationship should be?
I have decades of training behind me and I still don’t know your life, your family, or the shorthand the two of you built long before I met you.
My position isn’t judge and jury, and I’m willing to learn as much of your relationship as you’ll let me.
This gets uncomfortable for both of you, and it’s supposed to.
By now you both know how the argument goes before it starts.
I’ll bring tools, information, attention, and honesty.
Neither of you can get underneath that argument while you’re inside it.
I can help you find the “what.”
Wherever the two of you are right now is where the work starts.
What does the best version of this relationship look like to each of you?
You draw that picture together, and I’m there as a witness, and I’ll tell you honestly whether it’s realistic and fair.
I’ll ask both of you to step outside what’s comfortable. Individually, and as a couple.
Start with the contact form on this site, because that’s how you get fifteen free minutes with me, and I’d rather have both of you on it.
Bring the argument you keep having. That’s the useful one.
This is your relationship, your family, your life.
You don’t have to agree on what the problem is before you get here.
